June 2007

Seth Godin has an excellent piece on his blog today about a Verizon memo advising its stores in how to criticize the coming of Apple’s IPhone Friday.  It’s suspected many people will want to cancel their Verizon plan and switch to AT & T just to have access to an IPhone (Since AT & T is the only cellphone service that will use the IPhone).

One comment in particular sums up Godin’s thoughts and got me to thinking about the church:

“If someone is going to switch carriers and you’ve done your best to
denigrate their choice, you’ve not only lost a customer, you’ve also
lost credibility and respect going forward. (Because your criticism of
the phone is also criticism of my judgment.)”

How many times have we been in a situation where churches are being discussed and we offer our professional opinion on their ministry style?  When I was in my late 20’s/early 30’s, I was probably more guilty of this than I am today.  Occasionally someone will ask me about church xyz and what I think of them.  If it’s a good friend and asked in confidence, I may share a concern or two I would have but even at that, I’ve decided (a long time ago) not to even worry about it and usually reply: “I don’t go there obviously so I can’t comment accurately and besides, I have my own church to worry about and build”

It’s easy for us to look at any other church and long for certain things they do that attract new people while we are still small and growing.  I am surrounded by not one but three large churches (one mega church) and many other good sized ones are within a 10 minute drive of the church plant I am pastoring.  From each one, I could pick a program or ministry and say “I want that” but what that does is detract me from the laser like focus I need to make THIS church plant successful.  When someone comes to our church for a time and then decides to leave to one of these churches (much like Verizon’s worrying its customers might switch to AT & T), I take the time to thank them for their time with us and pray for their decision and that they will find their place of service with the new church.  I’ve gotten to know many of the pastors of these works and try to mention the pastor by name as I talk to our soon to be departed. “Oh, you’re heading to Pastor Jon’s church.  That’s a great church…dynamic kids ministry and wonderful music to boot.  I’m sure you’ll find something there you will like.”  And I’m sincere as I do this.  Rather than long for a specific program or ministry from another church, I’ve realized they have their own headaches and problems and I wonder if I’d want all that with that one program or am I content with the people God’s given me?

I’ve told our leadership to focus on what we do best and do it better than anyone.  For us, it’s all about relationships and restorative fellowship with our church family.  Much like Godin advises in his article, when a family is struggling with a decision like a church switch, I’ve elected to point out the benefits of our church while not denigrating another.  “If you stay here, you’ll be helping build something from the ground up.  We have great people, a solid kids ministry, biblical preaching that helps build those relationships we talk about every week.  Now if you go to Pastor Mike’s church, it’s a great work but you’ll have to start over and build new foundations, relationships, and get to know people before you can really plug in and serve.  They have a lot of folks serving already and we could really use your sweet spirit here but if you choose to go, you can rest assured you’ll leave with my blessings and prayers for your spiritual future.”

It’s time for us not to worry about what the other guy offers but to focus on the selling points that make US a great church.  You don’t have to knock another church to make yours look better.  In fact, if you do, you’ll only look worse.  Instead, focus on the benefits of your congregation while sharing the realities of moving to another church.  The decision is so much more important than who your cell phone carrier is but the principle Godin espouses is one many church pastors could stand to learn from!

Seth Godin has written a book on pushing through the hard times in business or similar endeavors.  The book is called “The Dip” and my blogging friend Ben Arment recently wrote a series of posts on the book from a church planters’ perspective.  You can read the brief, 4-part series by clicking here.

I’ve linked to the first post in the series.  If you follow his menu on the left side of his blog, you can read the other three posts in the series.

Excellent insights Ben.  I’ve requested this book at my local library and hope to have it in time to read while I’m gone to our denomination’s annual conference in Arkansas next month.

This weekend is our last for a traditional Sunday School class. Starting in August, our church will be organized around the small group model. I’m going to purchase the book “Go Big for Small Groups” by Bill Easum and John Atkinson. I see no reason for reinventing the wheel and have been reading small group advice by Andy Stanley’s small group pastor, Dr. Henry Cloud, and now this book has come across my radar as I finished it’s earlier companion work, “Go Big”.

The truth is, our morning small groups (as I called them!) were NOT growing. The only families that attended were the ones who were at church to practice with the worship team and it took a tremendous amount of man hours for my volunteers to staff a program for just a few people. Better I thought to utilize those hours and build a terrific Sunday morning worship experience for everyone while offering a K-5 children’s worship program during our regular morning worship time. Of course, I’ve lost a family over it. They feel we are just cutting too much with the removal a few years ago of our old Wednesday night service. They thought small groups should just replace that and that we should keep the Sunday School hour but the fact is, it wasn’t working and was a financial and emotional drain on our church. June 24th is our first day operating without a Sunday School. We plan to have a few church events like a picnic in the park, and movie night out while we wait for the official launch of these groups in August. I would appreciate your prayers for us during this time of preparation.

My day yesterday was full.  In addition to visiting a pastor in a neighboring town who’s going through a trial, I have been going through my own private hell of late.  We had our largest crowd of the year this past Sunday but I’m also losing a key family and the issues, while few, are enough to make my stomach churn.  I know leaders go through this all the time but it still doesn’t make it any better.  I just finished reading a cathartic book of sorts called “O Shepherd, Where Art Thou” by Calvin Miller.  After I finished with it, I decided I needed to go for a ride to visit some folks..

I started first with an elderly lady in our congregation who’s granddaughter just passed away.  In the past few months, this deal soul has had to endure the following: Her town home caught fire and it took months to rebuild, while living in a hotel between places she fell and broke her hip, her blind son had a stroke a few weeks back, her grandson got blood poisoning from a spider bite a week after that, and this week her granddaughter dies.  Spending time with her over an ICEE at a local sandwich shop put some things in perspective.  She hugged me and assured me all would be well with our current crisis.  She’s brave and much better at handling pain than I am that’s for sure.

Later in the day I came home and spent some time with the kids before running my son over to a friend’s house.  While I was in the city where his friend lived, I decided to travel to another family’s home not too far from where I was.  I wound up there until 9:30 last night sharing concerns with both the husband and the wife.  We talked about our kids, their future, the man’s job, and the woman’s fears.  She’s still new in the faith and learning.  As I left, they both hugged me and thanked me for my concern.  They said spending time with them was the best gift they could have had because nobody really comes to see them these days.  They are not much older than my wife and myself but it’s amazing what an investment of time will do to heal a person’s wounded spirit.  I came home at 10pm last night tired, worn, but refreshed.  This is what pastoral ministry is about.  This is why we plant churches.  Because the number of wounded outnumber the seats in a church.  If we build churches just to provide them a seat but never get to know them, we are doing them a disservice. 

I was told how blessed others were by my presence but it was the other way around.  I was blessed by their graciousness in a time when I seriously have doubted my competence to do the work I’ve been called to do.  I know that’s crazy since God gives us the heart for it but I think you would agree we’ve all been there.  I still hurt a bit today but I’m doing better.  Pray for me if you’re so inclined.